With a new decade upon us, the lemonade salesman in me is thinking about adding brownies to the menu. That is, I’m ready for my next big move, having already established myself as a new media tycoon.

So help me out, folks. Help me brainstorm and identify the next big thing. You know, a “Google killer.” I’m looking for a real win-win, here. Some ideas to get the juices flowing:

• Become a snake oil salesman. These guys seem to do real well for themselves, and I’m pretty sure they sleep well at night. Plus, they’ve been around forever!
• Sell snakes online at a discount. Niche. That’s all I’m going to say.
• Write a book called “The Secret” filled with stuff people already know, but never seem to do. This has “sizzle” written all over it.
• Source something—anything—from China. Some guy on a forum once told me “if your source it, they will come.” Totally believe him.
• Buy and sell real estate. This stuff never decreases in value. Actually, I think it’s against the law to devalue, so you know it’s a sure thing.
• “Invest” all my savings in the stock market. Seriously, it’s not like investment bankers are spending customer money irresponsibly, or speculating instead of investing. In fact, I haven’t heard of anyone losing money in the stock market, because it “always goes back up.” Always. Except when it doesn’t.
• Become an importer, exporter. Since the U.S. has such a large trade deficit, I would probably focus more on importing.
• Build an online community. Apparently sites like Facebook are pretty big now. I could always start one of those. I mean honestly, how hard is it to build a website?
  
• Start a multi-level marketing company that sells multi-level marketing companies. It sounds backwards, but I promise you it’s not.
• Sell something that makes people think they’re passively saving the planet even though they’re not. In other words, “Go green to make some green.” (NOTE: I trademarked this phrase. If you use it in any shape or form, my lawyers will come after you.)
• Become and ambulance chaser. Nevermind. I’m already doing this with little traction thus far.
• Buy super juice in bulk at high prices and sell it at an even higher price. Buying low and selling high is sooooo old fashioned. So is business to business (B2B) and business to consumer (B2C) sales. C2C is where it’s at, apparently.
• Get big on Twitter. That should be easy.
• Forget “killing” anything and just stick to what I enjoy.

Decisions, decisions.