What is it with sushi evangelicals? It’s as if rice rolls suddenly became the mana of the gods.

For the record, I’ve eaten at four sushi bars in my life, all of which were “the best” according to those who insisted I come. All attempts have been futile, however, because I don’t care for sushi — no matter what kind or who’s serving.

“You obviously haven’t had good sushi,” people tell me when I disapprove of the Japanese cuisine. “Have you eaten at the Happy Sumo?” they ask.

“I’ve been there twice.”

“Then you’re ordering wrong,” they say, as if reading lines from the same cue card.

I’m sorry to disappoint, but I don’t like sushi. That said, it would be great if fans could curb their enthusiasm when confronting dissenters like myself. You don’t see me dragging someone to Spencer’s because they don’t like steak.

PS – The first person who asks in the comments if I want to get some sushi will be mocked and ridiculed.