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I’m amazed by the number of times I’ve awoken from a good night’s sleep with a clear answer to a specific problem—no conscious thinking required. That could be the opening sentence to a writing assignment I didn’t know how to start, the best way to overcome a disagreement with a coworker, or how to approach a crucial conversation with a family member.
It might not make sense on paper. But then again, neither do dreams, gravity, or the first time someone put peanut butter and chocolate together. And yet, they work—beautifully.
The truth is, our subconscious mind can do a lot of heavy lifting (if not all of it) when it comes to solving problems. Some of the greatest thinkers of all time—Thomas Edison, Winston Churchill, David Ogilvy—were loud champions of stepping away, slowing down, and letting the back of their brain chew on things. Not by grinding harder. But by sleeping longer, walking slower, birdwatching, vacationing, or just staring into the ether until the fog lifted.
So how does that actually work? And more importantly, how can you bottle a little of that magic for yourself? Continue reading…
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Every human needs a little help sometimes. Here are seven, science-backed ways to improve your mental health this year:
- Quit social media. While I’d encourage you to cancel social media altogether (the last 15 years have been amazing since I did so), I realize this is a huge ask. But in the very least, you should restrict your social media for maximum fulfillment, as I wrote in my best-selling book Log Off.
- Reconnect with a lost friend. Simply text or say the following: “I thought of you today and miss you. How are you?”
- Empathize with someone different from you. People with high levels of empathy tend to function better in society than those with low levels. So go out of your way to meet, learn from, and befriend people that don’t look, think, or talk like you.
- Stop thinking about work. It can wait until tomorrow morning or after the weekend. One of the best way to overcome this is to simply write down what you need to do and schedule time on your calendar to take care of it later.
- Make time for fun, mastery, social, and physical activities. You should be doing at least one of each every weekday, including fun things that excite you, cleaning or errands that make you feel good, excercize, and talking with your favorite people. If you’re the type that’s always helping others, carve out 20-30 minutes of “me time” everyday to reduce stress.
- Write a thank you letter. Gratitude increases happiness better than just about anything.
- Consider therapy. I’ve done this twice before and it saved my marriage and tempered my anger management. A good friend of mine is also visiting a therapist for the first time this year and loving it. I’m so fond of counseling that I’m gifting it to all of my kids and their spouses when they get married.
Here’s some scientifically tabulated advice. They’re called the top five regrets of the dying. In short, a nurse that took care of lots of people on their deathbeds asked and recorded their most common regrets. They are as follows, along with my pithy commentary: Continue reading…
