Blake Snow

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Tagged happiness

How to stay happily married: Seduce, entertain, be nice

credit blake snow

credit blake snow

A happy wife is a happy life. Or so goes a popular adage.

This goes both ways, of course. But I suspect the saying is written primarily for men because we probably fail as spouses more often than women.

Either way, what’s the key to successful marriage?

First and foremost, always pretend you’re still courting your spouse, writes popular Quora author and Cal physicist Richard Muller. “Seduce. Entertain. Be nice,” he says. “Do all those things you did when you were trying to win her over.”

That means taking a sexual interest in them (not just maintenance, mind you—that’s not love-making), making them laugh, smile, and feel good about themselves, and respecting them no matter what (as opposed to misjudging, resenting, or objectifying them).

Lastly, “Don’t take them for granted, ever,” Muller says. Do this long enough and you’ll probably get divorced.

In other words, surprise them. Marriage is not a given. Do all you can to earn your keep. Contribute. Give. Don’t just take. Be the spouse you’d like to have.

Sage advice, Mr. Muller.

Bookmark this: How to write a gratitude letter

Because gratitude is scientifically proven to boost our happiness, the good people at Highbrow explain how to write a gratitude letter:

Close your eyes and think of someone who did something important for you that changed your life in a good direction but who you never properly thanked. It could be that you’re really grateful to a teacher who inspired your love of acting and who persuaded you to try for drama school when everyone else was dead set against it. Maybe you’d like to thank your boss or a colleague for helping you with a particularly tricky project at work. Or perhaps you choose to write a friend who helped you through a tough time… Describe specifically what they did and what influence it had on you. Let them know what you are doing now, and mention how you often remember what she did.

Brilliant.

6 poignant quotes that embody Ernest Hemingway

Hemingway aboard his boat off the coast of Cuba (1950)

Hemingway aboard his boat off the coast of Cuba (1950)

As compiled by Highbrow:

  1. “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
  2. “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.”
  3. “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”
  4. “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”
  5. “I drink to make other people more interesting.”
  6. “As a writer, you should not judge, you should understand.”

See also: My review of Old Man and The Sea

Formula for predicting successful marriages

This formula, from the ’70s of all decades, is elegantly simple:

frequency of lovemaking – frequency of quarrels = marriage success

Not sure if it’s causation or correlation, but it certainly mirrors the ups and downs of my marriage. Oh, la la!

How to get “rich”

harley

I was searching for “internet authors” last week and stumbled on this man’s webpage, who dubs himself “the best-selling Internet author of all time.” I chuckled a bit upon reading his claim and seeing his photo, until I realized he knows what he’s talking about on at least one subject, How to get rich:

In the long run, it’s what you do day to day, over many years, that makes the difference. When you fall in love with what you do, and you work hard for a long time, you are offering the world your very best.

Think of the economy as a huge complex organism. If you learn to contribute in the right way, the economy will reward you. If not, you will be poor. The recipe for success and wealth is simple. Find the work that is best for you. Spend years engrossed in your work. Do a bit of long-term planning.

If you follow these guidelines, I can’t guarantee you will become a millionaire. What I do guarantee is you will live a useful, productive, happy life. And, over the years, that will be your very best chance of becoming rich.

I couldn’t have said it better myself, Harley. Although less than a third way through my planned 100 year life, I’ve found this to be the case for me. Do what you love, and monetary wealth will often find you.

At the same time, I’ll one-up what Harley said: Although millions can never be guaranteed, an enriched life can be guaranteed by following your passions. So you can get “rich” doing what you love in life, with the bonus being the best chance at finding monetary riches as well.

Either way, that’s how one gets “rich” in life.

Awkward photos with big furry cats totally optional.

Money can buy you happiness, at least up to $75,000 per year

These is an interesting survey of half a million Americans:

People’s emotional well-being — happiness — increases along with their income up to about $75,000, researchers report in Tuesday’s edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

For folks making less than that, said Angus Deaton, an economist at the Center for Health and Wellbeing at Princeton University, “Stuff is so in your face it’s hard to be happy. It interferes with your enjoyment.”

Happiness got better as income rose but the effect leveled out at $75,000, Deaton said. “Giving people more income beyond 75K is not going to do much for their daily mood … but it is going to make them feel they have a better life.”

In a temporal sense, I believe it.