credit blake snow

A happy wife is a happy life. Or so goes a popular adage.

This goes both ways, of course. But I suspect the saying is written primarily for men because we probably fail as spouses more often than women.

Either way, what’s the key to successful marriage?

First and foremost, always pretend you’re still courting your spouse, writes popular Quora author and Cal physicist Richard Muller. “Seduce. Entertain. Be nice,” he says. “Do all those things you did when you were trying to win her over.”

That means taking a sexual interest in them (not just maintenance, mind you—that’s not love-making), making them laugh, smile, and feel good about themselves, and respecting them no matter what (as opposed to misjudging, resenting, or objectifying them).

Lastly, “Don’t take them for granted, ever,” Muller says. Do this long enough and you’ll probably get divorced.

In other words, surprise them. Marriage is not a given. Do all you can to earn your keep. Contribute. Give. Don’t just take. Be the spouse you’d like to have.

Sage advice, Mr. Muller.