Blake Snow

content advisor, recognized journalist, bodacious writer-for-hire

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Tagged MLIA

Isn’t it exhilarating the first time you realize your kids know more than you do?

I know because it happened to me this week.

I was in the living room. My five year old was sitting beside her mother on the sofa. All of the sudden, I hear the former speaking in this foreign language. Not an idiom. Music notation! She was reading aloud music! Passing off her piano homework to her mother!

“My kid knows how to read music!!” I thought to myself. “Even I don’t know how to do that!!” (Yes, there were exclamation points after all of these sentences.)

I can only imagine what other things she’ll learn as she grows older — things I never did.

You have no idea how proud this makes me as a father. It makes me want to sing “We are the world” or something. What an awesome feeling.

MLIA

These short-stories are funny. My life is average.

mlia t shirtSince quitting Facebook in May, I periodically visit My Life Is Average for a good chuckle. Here are some of my favorite recent stories:

  • Today, my brownie got detained in airport security. MLIA.
  • Today, I discovered you can reuse calendars every eleven years. Guess who is using their 1999 calendar this year? MLIA.
  • Today, I pushed a door that said pull. It opened. MLIA
  • About a week ago, I went to the optometrist. While the doctor was looking at my eye, he told me to “open wide.” He was talking about my eye, but I automatically opened my mouth as wide as I could. MLIA.
  • Today, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich in the toaster. Tomorrow, I’m getting a new toaster. MLIA
  • Today I found a book called “How to Read a Book.” MLIA
  • Today I was walking across the park and there were a bunch of teenagers. First kid smoking. Second kid smoking. Third kid smoking. Fourth kid was eating a apple. I think we know who the biggest rebel is. MLIA
  • Tomorrow, my school has a spirit day. The theme is “Gender-Bender,” where boys wear girls clothes and vice versa. My father, knowing nothing of this, comes downstairs to find me in a jean miniskirt, gray tank top, black leggings, trying to put my hair in a suitable girly fashion. We stare at each other awkwardly, and without saying a word, he turns and walks back upstairs, shaking his head. MLIA.
  • Today, I read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? MLIA
  • Today, my shoe laces came untied. I tied them back up and carried on. MLIA
  • Four years ago, when i was 18, i noticed at night that my front window is very reflective, so i was pretending to dive in slow motion and shoot, dual pistol style. Suddenly a really hot girl walked past and i was startled and fell over. Embarrassed i waited for a bit and then stood up. As i stoop up i saw her slowly shooting an imaginary rifle from behind a car. We then proceeded to do this for 10 minutes until she did an extremely dramatic death. She wasn’t getting up so i went outside to meet her. Once i got to where she was, there was nothing but a piece of paper with a mobile number on it. Today, we are getting married. MLIA

MLIA.