Blake Snow

writer-for-hire, content guy, bestselling author
As seen on CNN, NBC, ABC, Fox, Wired, Yahoo!, BusinessWeek, Wall Street Journal
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Tagged status updates

My thrilling status updates for the week

  • is offline. #
  • Doesn’t understand why anyone would affiliate with group B. Stop hanging around these losers! http://tinyurl.com/2atjaes #
  • Fun little read in a coffee table book sort of way: http://tinyurl.com/28tuhz8 #
  • wants to marry photojournalism: http://tinyurl.com/45weuf #
  • wishes he had $1400 in “pocket money” to further support this hobby: http://tinyurl.com/27z9pjx #
  • It is always better to light a candle than to curse the dark. #
  • Like Apple, Nintendo can be really dumb at times: http://tinyurl.com/24fljxj #
  • had a nerdgasm last night after a local funk guitarist unexpectedly starting playing Luke Skywalker’s theme. Thanks, Fat Apollo. #
  • I have eaten at many fine French, Italian, and Asian restaurants, but when it comes to chicken, nothing beats the succulence of fried. #
  • The essence of old marketing is deception, not clarity. The essence of new marketing is embracing your strengths, and only those strengths. #
  • Working yourself to death is really people, checking your dumb phone 24×7 very much included: http://tinyurl.com/27t3s74 #
  • likes this commercial: http://tinyurl.com/2co732u #
  • As they say in The South, “Y’all be good.” #
  • This album should be required listening for everyone: http://tinyurl.com/26r67vy #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • likes how D-Ron cocked that dunk like Le-Bron. Go Jazz! #
  • ‘s stomach is grateful for his wife’s deliciously ambitious home cooking. #
  • How to Train Your Dragon > Avatar. Seriously. #
  • thinks his friend is a BFD for debt financing a million dollar company. Attaboy, Tim! #
  • Despite what organizers say, World Cups are bad economoic investments: http://tinyurl.com/27y375n #
  • Forever in blue jeans. #
  • Awesome defense of the free press, The Appalling Reaction to the Apple iPhone Leak: http://tinyurl.com/29p8suq #
  • is vying to become president of Del Boca Vista phase III. #
  • Best new reggae I’ve heard in a long time. Awesome. http://tinyurl.com/2fbfatu #
  • is going to see Evil Empire play Evil Empire Jr. at Fenway this October! (Dream come true) Thanks, David! #
  • Good little sappy movie. http://tinyurl.com/24oo7c7 I love dogs. #
  • This guy is a winner in every sense of the word: http://tinyurl.com/27lvkp6 #
  • Diplomacy has failed. #
  • Let’s see how connected my Facebook friends really are: Can any of you handsome people get me on the Salt Lake Country Club golf course? #
  • Great article—Mexico is the most popular soccer team in America: http://tinyurl.com/25hgq3b #
  • Tripping and realizing no one saw you. AWESOME! http://1000awesomethings.com/ #
  • Had to breathe deeply while viewing this sobering images: http://tinyurl.com/23sjdhu #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • likes how Italians call cars “machines.” Sounds so primitive and powerful. “I don’t drive a car, I drive a machine!” #
  • Conflict of interest much, sportsracers? http://tinyurl.com/2ezb892 #
  • Can we end this debate already? The answer is obviously Pelé. http://tinyurl.com/247rx7h #
  • found a runner’s high somewhere on the Provo River Trail this morning. Recreational drugs got nothing on that. Nothing! #
  • Ugh. http://tinyurl.com/23kd3rs #
  • hasn’t used his heels as landing pads while running for over a year now and it’s awesome. #
  • Money, the ultimate indicator of sports popularity. http://tinyurl.com/25o8pxx #
  • cannot believe that 70% of you still buy music on discs! What are you guys thinking? Amazon.com/mp3 is tops! http://tinyurl.com/3xst93o #
  • missed the boat this morning. Bummer. #
  • is going to see Deadmau5 and Girl Talk this summer. Bring your dancin’ shoes! #
  • The story behind US Soccer’s sash stripe revival: http://tinyurl.com/253h2r8 #
  • In your wildest dreams you cannot imagine the marvelous surprises that await you. #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • Too much estrogen in this house. #
  • Blimpie > Subway #
  • So shines a good deed in a weary world. #
  • Wishes Bush and Obama would have followed Clinton’s lead in balancing the budget, after watching this visual aide: http://tinyurl.com/dbr83d #
  • needs to mow the lawn. Anyone want to trade? #
  • So much time, and so little to do! #
  • New Kevin Butler ad is so wrong it’s right: http://tinyurl.com/2cfvrtc #
  • thinks Georgia is the original gangster of the South. #
  • Watch this base runner dive over the catcher for an awesome run: http://tinyurl.com/25yv2cb #
  • Smart business (and philanthropy) model: http://tinyurl.com/2wyghj9 #
  • is writing a story on things science has so far failed to explain. Any nominations? #
  • Bloglines epic fail. Maybe it’s time I convert to Google Reader. http://tinyurl.com/34mz548 #
  • wants to play this course this summer: http://tinyurl.com/2u2sm75 #
  • hopes the weather clears in time to see the Cougs beat the Utes in baseball for a second consecutive night. #
  • is considering whether to buy this font or not. Looks good, no? http://tinyurl.com/334uab3 #
  • Silly Interneters. This information will come back to bite you. I promise. http://tinyurl.com/29ekfme #
  • Doesn’t buy this crap: http://tinyurl.com/247jqw6 – Don’t blame a single moment for your failure. Blame your lack of effort elsewhere. #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • likes how Xbox downloads can be managed from a computer. #
  • This song is crazy good. Same guy that cameoed on Keane: http://tinyurl.com/ylsjme2 #
  • Yea, I think these guys pretty much have the market cornered for stadium architecture http://bit.ly/ac0O6X #
  • This version is better than the original: http://tinyurl.com/yah9y8t #
  • is reliving his childhood today with Rancid records. #
  • Honesty is the best policy. #
  • is a thousandaire. That’s right. You heard me. #
  • Most apacalyptic-looking meteor shower ever last night. Crazy! http://tinyurl.com/y2kmyna #
  • All other things equal, why do people require different amounts of sleep? #
  • wishes he could sluff work today to join Lindsey and the girls on their picnic. #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

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My thrilling status updates for the week

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My thrilling status updates for the week

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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • He has many great ones, but my favorite Beck album remains 2002’s Sea Change. Strait up lovely. #
  • just chased his lunch with a delicious Shirley Temple. Doesn’t get any better than that. #
  • The iPad does little to enable creativity—it’s a closed-circuit digital consumption machine. Zing! #
  • is just a squirrel trying to get a nut. #
  • He was a diplomat’s son. It was ’81. #
  • prefers black and white photos because they highlight the subject matter better than color ones. #
  • is gonna get bit by a dog in this godless part of town, I swear. Swarmed by 5 today. Danger averted, but they didn’t like me. Bad dogs! #
  • is artistic. #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • sat next to a man at church yesterday that was openly doodling in a sketchbook. Like Napoleon Dynamite, Nacho Libre, and Star Wars drawings. #
  • works to live (never the other way around). #
  • is grateful for his mechanic Paul, coming through and fixing his power windows for a mere $174. Dealership wanted something like $2800. #
  • A company that cannot satisfy consumer needs in the market or that requires government funds to remain competitive should not be in business #
  • Phoenix’s 1901 is your song of the day. Again. Pretty much has been for a straight year. #
  • would rather be on a boat. #
  • wants to start playing live music with in ear monitors: http://www.audiologyonline.com/articles/pf_article_detail.asp?article_id=2115 #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • In case you didn’t get the memo, Neil Diamond > Neil Young and Bob Marley > Bob Dylan. Just wanted to set the record straight. #
  • is delighted with the new house he rented. #
  • doesn’t care for the new found snow shoveling though. 🙁 #
  • combs his hair with his fingers. #
  • Now, our operation is small, but there’s a lot of potential for aggressive expansion… so we’re gonna have tryouts. #
  • The delicate balance of power in U.S. politics is a beautiful thing. Long live checks and balances. #
  • almost got bit by a dog while running today. If he tries again, what’s the best way to difuse an attack? #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • wants to marry the tomato basil omelet he had for breakfast. #
  • This pipe organ sounds fantastic! I’ve got these bass notes beneath my feet like something underground’s gonna come up and carry me. #
  • still eats grilled cheese. Anyone else? #
  • wrote a new blog post: : Top 5 new bands of the last decade (with video) http://bit.ly/8hun2X #
  • Taxes filed! A return care of Chinese loans to Uncle Sam is en route, thanks to abundant child tax credits (aka redistribution of wealth). #
  • Chances are that panpipe band you saw in South America wasn’t live. In fact, I’d say 99% are fake. #
  • Seriously, could Rolos be any more delicious? The mouthwatering morsels are like a gift from the candy gods. #
  • wishes he could grow a mustache. He can, however, grow Chinese neck hairs. Anyone want to trade? #
  • A secret life is fraught with worry. An honest one is filled with peace. #
  • Locals only: Best in state burger? The correct answer would be Stumpy Burger on 225 West Center in Provo (where you could do well, btw). #
  • lives on the west side of town. Anyone else? #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • “Sweet cab rice cakes, she don’t care how the sweets taste. Fake philly cheese steak, but you use real toothpaste.” #
  • Although pleasant, electronic relationships will never compare to human ones. #
  • is stuck in a moment he can’t get out of, otherwise known as an early January funk. #
  • is seeing the taxman tomorrow to get it over with early. #
  • Sorry kitchen sink calcium deposits. You didn’t stand a chance today against my wife, who was armed with Kaboom! (looks great, Lindz) #
  • “That boy good,” says Jay-Z. #
  • is texting at a stop light to tell you that Deadmau5 has literally turned his Jeep into a discoteque. On a Wednesday afternoon even. #
  • ‘s ear is no respecter of musical skill. If it sounds good, he’ll listen. #
  • is excited to watch the new PBS adaptation of Emma. Yes, I like Jane Austen, the “original gangsta” of chick flicks. #
  • likes the pirate flag his neighbor flies. #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • likes Agassi less after reading his autobiography. #
  • still drinks from water fountains. Anybody else? #
  • is about to board a giant metal tube with service to Salt Lake… as soon as the girls awake from their slumber in this quiet NYC apt. #
  • is working in disarray—moving boxes are everywhere and it makes me feel yucky. #
  • new Vampire Weekend album—Contra—is hot. #
  • Why are we talking about tablet PCs again (i.e. at CES)? Didn’t these things fizzle five years ago? #
  • just conquered his wireless router. Take that, sucka! #
  • I’m sorry. The correct answer to the greatest Van Halen song of all time is Panama. Panama is the correct answer. #
  • What’s the point of the Europa League if all you’re doing is playing for 33rd place (since the top 32 play in Champions League)? Dumb. #
  • Boo Texas. Roll Tide. #
  • American Express has the best customer service in the world, hands down. Ask and you shall receive. Just awesome. #
  • Viva Las Vegas! Luck be a new deal tonight. #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • Went to Cosco for boxes. Worker asked if I was moving. I said yes. “Now’s the time for students to move,” she replies. I hang my head. #
  • I’ve won 869 matches in my career, fifth all-time, and many were won during the afternoon shower.-Agassi, p9 #
  • has a propensity to jump to conclusions. For those who share my weakness, any practical ideas towards combating it? #
  • it’s okay to like evil corporations, so long as they have nice design (e.g. Apple, Ikea, and Target). #
  • is grateful for good friends and neighbors that successfully helped him move today. In the snow. #
  • read these books this month: Strong Fathers Strong Daughters, BYOC: South Africa, Game Over, Soccernomics, and Open: An Autobiography. #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • You could fill a book—a lot of books—with things Dad doesn’t know. And they have. Which is why I read. #
  • thinks Meaghan Smith’s new album is awesome. http://tinyurl.com/yj9faj9 #
  • thinks Brier Rose is the worst witness protection name ever. #
  • Like John Grisham? Read David Sheff’s Game Over. It’s fascinating non-fiction. http://tinyurl.com/y95k5p9 #
  • is having a mindblowing triumphant day and hopes you are too. #
  • Deadmau5 + Sony MDR-V700 = Headphone Bliss (Thanks, Matt!) #
  • What’s the deal with size 0, ladies? Really? You’re smaller than size 1? #
  • still doesn’t understand what an “ombudsman” is. It’s just one of those dictionary entires that doesn’t enlighten. #
  • I broke my bat on Johnny’s head; somebody snitched on me. #
  • Just learned that Irish kids leave Santa Guinness with cookies—not always milk. Ho, ho, ho, indeed. #
  • is assembling a dollhouse for the girls, and yet Santa will get all the credit. #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • wishes websites would increase the size of their search boxes for the sake of usability. Pretty please, Internet? #
  • Grammar Nazi here: Never say “please” before RSVP. The French abbreviation comes with manners free of charge. #
  • likes playing Rook where said card is the lowest (not highest) trump. Makes the game unpredictably fun. #
  • Commodores’ “Night Shift” is your song of the day. #
  • Time to musk up. #
  • Words of wisdom: “If you make a mistake and tell the truth, it becomes part of your past. If you lie, it becomes part of your future.” #

My thrilling status updates for the week

  • thinks electronic book readers like Kindle are the new tablet PC, and we all know how well those caught on. #
  • is eating home-made tomato basil soup and it’s awesome. Thanks, Lindsey. #
  • It’s official. After a third viewing, Stranger Than Fiction has entered my Top 5 Movies of All Time list. #
  • defrauded a major corporation and robbed the second-largest bank in France using only a ball-point pen. He also created a hole in the ozone. #
  • told Maddie she was being “a beast” while throwing a fit yesterday, to which she replied, “No! I’m not a beast—I’m Maddie!” 🙂 #
  • thinks it’s lame when blowhards argue about changing the world to feel good, while others are doing it, by donating their time and money. #
  • Why does Mama Bear always wear polka dot pajamas with matching night cap? She looks ridiculous. #
  • The only thing that would make In-N-Out better is McDonald’s fries. #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • Go BYU! #
  • thinks salted Edamame is the best snack food ever. #
  • thinks technology writers sound stupid when they say “the cloud” for the Internet. I believe you’re smart; just say the latter, m’kay? #
  • People are valuable because they are human, not because of what they do. #
  • Christmas tree erected. The girls and I went up to the mountains to cut one down. Not a full as Oregon conifers, but it’s purty & fragrant. #
  • can’t get his two-year old to stop pushing up her sleeves, in cold weather even. #
  • Who would win in a fight: Cream of Wheat or Malt ‘O Meal? #
  • Grab your bag. It’s on. #
  • is watching the World Cup draw on espn360.com #
  • has a smokin’ hot date tonight. #
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My thrilling status updates for the week

  • runs farther, faster, and enjoys himself more after he stopped tracking mileage. Metrics for the loss. #
  • thinks the Star Spangled Banner is the second best national anthem, after… http://tinyurl.com/ykjfu8f #
  • Is it disgusting that I just spread butter on a few Ritz crackers to further enjoy their deliciouness? #
  • needs to update his passport if he wishes to make South Africa a reality: http://tinyurl.com/ye3bndb #
  • “I think you’d dig Provo. You could do well there.” #
  • thinks everyone should say “coo-pawn” and not “cue-pawn” when speaking of that piece of paper that grants discounts at stores. #
  • One of the best quotes I’ve read for fathers raising daughters: “Be the man you want her to marry.” #
  • has a tendancy to bump soft deadlines in Gcal way to often. Why isn’t the task completed yet??!! #
  • In-and-out is good and all, but no $2 burger is worth waiting 1+ hour for. Until next time, Orem grand opening. #
  • thinks its amatuerish when news reports finish with “we’ll let you know if we learn more,” or something similar. That’s your job. We know. #
  • wishes his wife would kiss him goodbye BEFORE putting on gloss, which tastes disgusting and makes him look effeminate. Can I get a witness? #
  • ‘s four year-old had a bad dream about a “dinosaur eating all of Babar’s children.” The horror! #
  • wants to snorkel The Great Barrier Reef someday. #
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@Twitter: Smooth Harold is snubbing you, staying lean, and rolling his own updates. Here’s how in 1-3 easy steps:

Twitter versus FacebookEDIT: I caved.

If you like status updates, but don’t want to invest time managing both a Facebook and Twitter account, here’s an easy way to make Status Updates act like Tweets:

  1. Login to Facebook and grab your Status feed by clicking here, then copy the “My Status” RSS URL, which can be found in the lower right corner of the page. Share the link with others.
  2. Optional: Login to Feedburner (if you haven’t already), enter the URL as a new feed, then activate “Buzz Boost” under the “Publicize” tab of your feed. Adjust settings to your liking.
  3. Optional: Copy your “BuzzBoost” HTML code, repaste on your blog, then share your link and subscription with others.

You could just sign up for a Twitter account and enjoy a few additional networking opportunities, but I don’t know a Tweeter who isn’t also a Facebooker. With 50 million strong, the same cannot be said of Facebookers. As a bonus, rolling your own status updates gives you greater control and lets you keep all your third-party social networking efforts in one consolidated place. Sweet!

25 status updates you should never make on Facebook

ifacebookedyourmom.gifIf you’re a Facebook user, you know how fun status updates can be. The good ones give you specific insight into what your friends are doing, how they are feeling, and what they really think. The bad ones are vague, cryptic, menial (you just checked into some hotel — no one cares), and wouldn’t know wit if it punched them in the baby maker.

These, on the other hand, are much worse — 25 status updates you should never make on Facebook. Continue reading…