Courtesy Fox

The following consistently show up across leading research and marriage counseling:

1. Communication matters more than being “right.” Couples who focus on understanding each other do better than those who focus on winning arguments.

2. Listening is more powerful than talking. Feeling heard reduces conflict faster than problem-solving or advice.

3. Conflict itself isn’t the problem—how you handle it is. Healthy couples disagree, but they avoid insults, contempt, and defensiveness.

4. Small issues often represent bigger emotional needs. Arguments about chores or schedules usually reflect needs like respect, appreciation, or security.

5. Repair attempts save relationships. Apologies, humor, or checking in during conflict help prevent long-term damage.

6. Positive interactions must outweigh negative ones. Counselors often reference a strong ratio of positive moments to negative ones to maintain relationship health.

7. Unspoken expectations cause resentment. Couples do better when they clearly express needs instead of assuming their partner “should know.”

8. Emotional safety is essential. People open up and grow when they feel safe from judgment, ridicule, or dismissal.

9. Change starts with personal responsibility. Progress happens faster when each person looks at their own behavior instead of trying to fix the other.

10. Connection requires regular effort. Strong marriages are built intentionally through shared time, appreciation, and consistent care—not just love.