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I’m by no means an expert at overcoming romantic strife and relationships issues. But I do know these five tricks usually get the job done:

1. Soften your approach. Start from a calm, respectful place. Easier said than done when emotions runs high, but really the best way to start.
2. Recognize repair attempts. These are little things that keep conflicts from escalating, such as a knowing smile, poke, inside joke, wink, or repeated phrase.
3. Calm each other. Politely take a break and ask others to do the same while expressing hope you can resolve things when tempers cool.
4. Compromise. Find a solution everyone can live with instead of insisting on all-or-nothing.
5. Tolerate imperfection. Your lover, friend, and family member isn’t perfect, and neither are you. Accept each other’s flaws and attempts to improve.

Relationships are hard but they’re definitely worth it.