Her Southeastern beauty may be unmatched, but Georgia has her share of irritants.
I moved to Utah from Georgia six years ago in pursuit of a degree from BYU (Go Cougars!). I came for the education (okay, not really), but stayed for the girl. It’s a place I call home and a state in which I’m happy to reside.
Earlier this month, Lindsey and I took a trip back to Georgia to see the family — something we hadn’t done in almost three years. Despite the laughs, good company, and unrivaled hospitality, I quickly recognized some things I don’t miss about Georgia. Here are seven of them:
- Bugs (primarily ants). I suppose it’s all the trees and fertile soil, but Georgia natives already know that you must keep a can of Raid close by at all times and have your foundation sprayed at least four times a year to combat pesky crawlies. I forgot how delicate the relationship between humans and ants was, and left the girls’ snack bag in our upstairs room, only to find it infested by a trail of insects a day later. Annoying.
- Humidity. I understand wet air acts as a natural skin-moisturizer, maker older Southern people look younger than they really are. But after sweating during an evening walk, I’ll take dry skin and
- Ignorance. My considerate wife got called a “b@%*h” for no reason by an impatient, white trash, trailer park resident and her wife-beating husband while trying to by steak at a crappy Food Depot. Yeah, I can live without that.
- Traffic. Atlanta is the largest commuter city in the nation. As a result, the metro area reportedly has the third worst traffic behind D.C. and LA. I missed the really bad stuff during our visit, but life’s too precious to waste it on congested roads and with unfunny radio DJs.
- Atlanta Airport. It’s not as big as O’Hare, but it’s still the busiest airport in the nation, which only adds to the already stressful and unfriendly experience of stripping down to your undies for the amusement of the worthless TSA (hopefully I don’t get added to some FBI list for saying that).
- Abnormally lazy hourly workers. While attempting to use Delta’s curb-side check-in, I was greeted by a lazy hourly worker who stood their looking at me like an idiot. I stared back waiting for a response. Nothing came. “Uh, what do I need to do to get checked in?” I asked. “You got a ticket?” the worker snapped, as if I should have initiated the conversation. Georgia is peppered with these type of bum workers, ungrateful ones who somehow feel entitled to better work despite their laziness.
- Panhandlers. “Sorry dude, I normally don’t give money to capable beggars, especially while stopped at a light in the middle of a major highway.” Lame.