Blake Snow

content advisor, recognized journalist, bodacious writer-for-hire

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Elmo is a corn-eating atheist

elmo
Parents say the darndest things to influence kids — especially when their two-year-olds constantly question “Why?” after every command, like my daughter.

For example, she has this stuffed Elmo she takes wherever she goes. Expectedly, Lindsey and I are trying to put the kibosh on that — more for convenience than principle. So when leaving for church yesterday morning, my¬†daughter¬†wanted to take Elmo. “No,” her mother replied, to which Sadie quickly retorted, “Why?”

“Because Elmo doesn’t believe in God — he’s an atheist.”

Later that night, while trying to persuade Sadie to eat her veggies after she repeatedly questioned “Why?” I said, “Because Elmo’s a corn-eating fool.”

In a single day, the muppet became a corn-eating atheist. God bless his soul.