Blake Snow

writer-for-hire, content guy, bestselling author

As seen on CNN, NBC, ABC, Fox, Wired, Yahoo!, BusinessWeek, Wall Street Journal
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Stop me if you’ve heard this one before

The owner of the second largest company in America walks into city hall.

He asks city council for their blessing in building a new, ring-shaped office building that holds an incredible 13,000 workers.

To call this building state-of-the-art is an understatement. It uses the city’s power grid as its back-up, opting instead to build its own on-site energy center. The surrounding land would go from 20% landscape currently to 80% landscape.

It features under-ground parking and natural apricot orchards.

But that’s not all, in addition to keeping his gazilian employees in the city, the man tells officials he “has a shot” a making the greatest office park the world has ever seen. “Students of architecture will come from all over to study this,” he predicts.

How do city officials respond? A few ask germane questions on saftey and infrastructure concerns — you know, what we pay politians to do.

Others, however, have the audacity to ask for quid pro quo free wi-fi and an Apple Store within city boundaries in exchange for accepting his proposal, this after tripping over themselves at the chance of meeting such a respected and influential man.

The man lowers his head in embarrassment but holds his ground, reminding them that he is the largest tax-payer in the city, employs some of the most affluent, smartest, and educated employees in the world, and would like to stay if they help him get permits for his new building.

Looking like idiots, the offending officials quickly backtrack and graciously accept the man’s proposal. One of them sheepishly holds up an iPad, saying how much he loves it, in a sign of solidarity.

The meeting ends.