Blake Snow

content advisor, recognized journalist, bodacious writer-for-hire

As seen on CNN, NBC, ABC, Fox, Wired, Yahoo!, BusinessWeek, Wall Street Journal
It looks like you're new. Click here to learn more.

5 reasons spy bosses are the worst ever

The Worst Boss in the WorldLindsey and I had the opportunity to watch the Bourne Ultimatum while my sister-in-law babysat Sadie on Saturday. Outside of its being a most excellent, non-gadgety, weaponize your environment type spy-movie, I discovered what I believe to be the worst boss in the world: a spy (or CIA) boss.

Here are five reasons why:

  • Spy boss subordinates sit in a big room and don’t even have cubicles. Worse still, their boss stands at the back of the room and barks orders while doing little if any work himself. To make matters worse, he makes his employees replicate their individual findings on a big, room projector that only adds to the workload. Can’t the boss just walk over to someone’s monitor to see their findings?
  • “That’s not fast enough,” he says when told that it will take at least one hour to bug someone’s phone.
  • “Where did he get that new phone?” he demandingly asks when knowing his employees can’t answer the question. He’s in the spy business, after all! You just kinda have to learn these things together. But no… Spy bosses always asks questions during an investigation that no one can answer. It’s kinda their thing.
  • Spy bosses almost always give vague little speeches at the beginning of an assignment wanting to know “everything!” about their subjects and “NOW!!!” Once this is yelled and despite having received no specific instructions, subordinates begin to furiously type on their keyboards not even knowing what they’re doing.
  • He are some common replies as to when a spy boss wants a task completed: “YESTERDAY!” “An hour ago!” “Before you were born!” You know, stupid stuff like that.

Talk about demanding… Sheesh!