Courtesy Unsplash

Jesus taught, “Except ye become as little children, ye shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.” He emphasized this because grown-ups are often hostile, mean, and unforgiving. Here’s why:

1. Accumulated hurt and mistrust. Children are often quick to forgive because they haven’t been burned over and over. Adults, by contrast, have experienced betrayal, disappointment, and loss. Over time, this pain can make them guarded or cynical, which prevents kindness and vulnerability.

2. Fear of being taken advantage of. Many adults have suffered painful consequences after trusting the wrong people. As a result, they equate kindness or friendliness with weakness, and forgiveness with “letting someone off the hook.” So they become cautious and callused, withholding warmth or grace unless they feel safe.

3. Social conditioning and ego. Children are more open and less image-conscious. They don’t care about power, status, or “winning” in the same way. Adults often act out of pride, competition, or a desire to protect their reputation or title over being nice.

4. Busy, stressed, distracted lives. Adults juggle work, bills, family, health, and a million responsibilities. But kindness and forgiveness require time and emotional energy—things that are in short supply when someone is running on empty. Children, meanwhile, live more in the moment and aren’t burdened by the past or overwhelmed by the future.

5. Complicated relationships. Kids often have simpler relationships: “You took my toy, I’m mad. Now I got it back, we’re friends again.” Adults deal with social baggage, unspoken expectations, and years of history, which complicates or muddles their view of forgiveness.

On top of that, many adults didn’t grow up in environments where kindness, empathy, or forgiveness were modeled. That and society often rewards toughness over tenderness, dominance over humility—making kindness seem outdated or naive.

But there is hope. The ability to be friendly, kind, and forgiving isn’t lost in adulthood—it’s just buried under layers of experience. It can be reclaimed by choosing love over fear, trusting again, and letting go of the past.

I believe in you.