PROVO, UT—Multiple sources today have confirmed that the fabled Mr. and Mrs. Blake Snow have decided to honor Fenway Park with their attendance this year. Set for a visit in October, the couple will realize a life-long dream of seeing the Evil Empire (read: Yankees) play Evil Empire Jr. (read: Red Sox) at the oldest active ballpark in America.
“We are thrilled to finally receive Mr. and Mrs. Snow as our personal guests to the Capital of New England,” said Thomas M. Menino, mayor of Boston. “Their reputation precedes them, so it truly is a source of pride for us. And since they are purported thousandaires, it wouldn’t hurt if they spent a little money on tourism.”
When asked what else they might do while visiting the city, Mr. Snow replied, “I don’t know, go sailing if my personal concierge can arrange it (Hi, David!). Maybe eat some food. Did I tell you we’re going to see freakin’ New York play Boston at Fenway??!! It’s like right up there with Old Firm, McEnroe-Borg, The Holy War, and Germany vs. the World as one of the greatest rivalries of all-time!!”
The stunning Mrs. Snow was more reserved in her remarks. “I’m excited to be soaking it up with my soul mate this fall,” she told a room full of reporters, who hung on her every word. “But I’m sorta pissed at Blake for putting me in the awkward position of asking someone to watch our kids while we’re away. That should be fun. Hopefully the game will be more exciting than the shellacking the Sox gave the Yankees the first time we saw them at the House That Ruth Built.”
NOTE: This is a developing story. Neither the Red Sox or Yankees were immediately available for comment.