Waffle House wedding
Realized in my native Georgia. Slide 11 is my favorite (via email, thanks Josh).
I run this joint. Don’t know where to start? Let me show you around:
Realized in my native Georgia. Slide 11 is my favorite (via email, thanks Josh).
AUTHOR’S NOTE: If you don’t want to challenge your optimistic beliefs on the U.S. War in Iraq, or are offended by patriotic criticism, please skip this post.
AP Photo File
Upon researching the ancient, now-ruined city of Babylon, I discovered that its remains lie 55 miles south of Baghdad. The nearest modern-day city is named Al Hillah and “was the scene of relatively heavy fighting in the 2003 U.S. invasion of Iraq,” according to Wikipedia.
Given what we’ve known since 2005, I was embarrassed to read that last line, “in the 2003 U.S. invasion of Iraq.” It’s still difficult for me to consider that the United States invaded anyone, much less Iraq on false, reportedly fabricated premises.
Here’s an oldie but goodie.
Hugh Gallagher won first prize in the humor category of the 1990 Scholastic Writing Awards for the following essay. He allegedly used it to get into NYU and graduated from the university in 1994. To call his work humorous is an understatement to say the least (via Educated Nation, thanks Robert). Continue reading…
Newsweek has the story:
Apple is looking like what Microsoft was 10 years ago—a Bigfoot that squeezes smaller competitors. A former lieutenant of Steve Jobs’s once told me something surprising about his ex-boss. “Steve is a monopolist at heart,” he said. “He’s just like Bill Gates. He just hasn’t been as successful.”
Gone are the days where Apple was the hip underdog. Now they’re becoming the cool monopoly, and I’m fine with it so long as their products stay fresh and the prices remain competive.
It’s amusing when ignorant people start using the internet. (via Digg)
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz6amk3P-hY[/youtube]
Behold, this is what Redmond is using to combat the effective and clever “I’m a Mac” ads. It’s bland, forgettable, and awkward — outside of the Spanish subtitles and quick shower scene.
I really like Seinfeld, and I’m a Windows XP user, but this is more Bee Movie and Office Paperclip style than anything else. Too bad.
This is an oldie but goodie entitled The Perfect Human, courtesy of Wired.
Dean Karnazes ran 50 marathons in 50 days. He does 200 miles just for fun. He’ll race in 120-degree heat. Here are 12 secrets to his success.
Reading this article back in January 2007 was one of the reasons I took an interest in running.
I ruptured a disc in my lower back on July 4. I successfully ran a 10K that day, but the spine cushion (as it is called) blew due to genetics, not physical exertion, I’m told. The demanding event and requisite training only aggravated an already degenerative disc.
On Friday, I had a discectomy to cure the problem, which slices through my back, drills a hole in my vertebrae, and traverses the sacred spinal canal to remove the loose fragment that was pinning my sciatic nerve against my bone, causing pain throughout my entire right leg.
I was driving home last week heading south on I-15 in Salt Lake City when I saw the above billboard for Mozy, an online backup company.
The ad is esoteric but brilliant, because it appeals to the precise type of people that Mozy seemingly wants to recruit: young, sociable talent who share a common interest — good music, multiplayer, and Rock Band in the afternoons instead of mindless meetings.
Well played, Mozy. I’m sure they’re not the first company to use video games to entice young talent, but more tech companies would be wise to follow suit. Perhaps being well-versed in Nintendo is more valuable than it once seemed.
Ever since launch, the Xbox 360 core model without hard drive has largely been written off by gamers — and rightfully so. It lacks many of the attractive advantages of its older brothers, not to mention value for what’s included in the box. (Most core models can’t even save games without separate purchase!)
But all that’s about to change with the upcoming $80 price cut of the latest Arcade bundle (September 7, according to retailers), which includes a matte white system, wireless controller, and a 256 MB memory card for saving games and playing online.
Want to encourage better conversion rates on your website (be it purchases, blog traffic, whatever) while looking good? Don’t give your readers more than a few options to choose from. By forcing them to look at what you want, you’ll enjoy more targeted traffic.
Apple does it. So does Shoe Guru. Both may be extreme, but their website design ensures them greater control over what they promote, resulting in tighter focus and better sales over the alternative, cluttered sites.
Off-topic: I’d totally buy those shoes if knew what Shoe Guru size I wear.
Gmail launched in March 2004. But after more than four years, the site still uses “beta” on its logo.
For the uninitiated, “beta” is a fancy way of saying, “this software or website is a work in progress.” But all software and websites are works in progress, so the term is primarily used today to sound cool — nothing more.
So let’s drop that “beta,” Google. Besides, you’re not as cool as you once were (but I still love ya).
See also:
Olympics are great but far from perfect. Here are six common-sense ways to boost the competition, national pride, and spectator enjoyment of the event. Continue reading…
Lindsey and I went ballooning this morning for our fifth anniversary. Here’s proof, not to mention more photogenic evidence that Utah is gorgeous.
This is the latest Geico caveman commercial entitled “Plane Banner,” which is somewhat of a revival after the idea grew stale, not to mention the embarrassing TV spin off of last year. In any case, caveman commercials have been making me chuckle since they started in 2004. Am I alone?
See also: My new favorite commercial [Lindsey Snow]
Earth is under attack. Your favorite football team is waiting to win their division. There are more than 60 remaining stars to collect. And yet the gamers charged with overcoming the odds couldn’t care less.
They rarely finish their games, it seems.
According to an investigative Crispy Gamer survey of 2,000 players conducted this month, less than 25 percent of games are played to completion (i.e. the rolling of credits). What’s more, an alarming number of the same percentile say they finish less than 10 percent of their games, purchased, rented, or otherwise.
Dear Big Oil (Exxon Mobil, Chevron, you know who you are):
I’ve grown weary of seeing your good-will commercials where you now refer to yourselves as “energy companies.” Sorry fellas, but your record profits this year didn’t come from any alternative energy. It came from oil.
But that will soon change. As clever and courageous scientist develop cheaper, sustainable fuels that you don’t control, I’ll smile as you scramble to adapt and suddenly drop your prices. Competition can be such a drag, I know — especially after going uncontested for 100 years.
So… good luck with your rebranding efforts (snickers).
Love,
Smooth Harold
I’ve always been fascinated by geography and population. So imagine my exuberance when stumbling upon Wikipedia’s list of state populations as of 2007 estimates (with bonus city and density lists).
And to think my resident Utah has fewer inhabitants than Kansas. Amazing, ain’t it?
I got my first Blackberry, a pancake of a thing, back in January 2006. One replacement and 31 months later, I finally upgraded to a quasi outdated Blackberry Curve — I guess I’m what you call an apathetic technologist.
I’ve quickly grown fond of the 8320 and prefer it to the iPhone for the keyboard alone (though the camera, iTunes syncable media player, 2GB SD card, and Wi-Fi are more than functional).
But I digress. How often do you upgrade phones? It seems like some people swap every 6 months…
Confession: I hope I never require manscaping. And by manscaping I mean below the neck body hair in general, not below the belt (get your head out of the gutter!).
But yeah, as I near 30 years of age, I’ve spotted some undesirably scragglies on my back. And I can’t even grow a beard. It’s coming, I fear.
So gentlemen, do you manscape? I know you metro sexual gym rats do — what with your baby smooth arms and legs. Ladies, do you encourage it?
In any case, I want no part of it.
It’s no easy task to whittle 40-50 Bob Marley hits to just 10. But someone has to do it, and who better than me? So whether tanning at the beach, traveling in a car, or protesting a war, these are the 10 best Bob Marley songs of all time.
“That not look good, daddy,” my clever, almost 3-year old girl said in broken but piercing English on Monday, upon seeing my newly purchased white leather belt around my waist. “That looks better,” she assured me, after I switched to a brown belt.
My confidence in fashion judgment is at an all time low right now. To make matters worse, Sadie told me I was “stinky” over the weekend. Great — out of style and stinky. Just what I need.
Most gamers are familiar with big name publishers like Electronic Arts, Activision, and Sega. But what about the development studios themselves? You know, the ones that actually make the games, not just distribute them. Behold! Here are eight of the most important ones, in terms of multiple hits, present impact, and cash money.
Though imperfect, The Associated Press is increasingly becoming one of the few U.S. media agencies that can be trusted for reliable news. After reading their thorough and objective report on the the South Ossetia conflict, I learned the following:
Something smells fishy — seems like everyone, including Georgia, Russia, and maybe even the U.S. are more concerned with those ginormous oil pipes in the war-torn country than the security of little old South Ossetia.
UPDATE: For additional commentary, be sure to read the comments on Digg surrounding this story. If American, you’ll uncontrollably laugh at how brutally honest some Diggers are, before blushing upon realizing how embarrassed you should be.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jpsqnZylZQ[/youtube]
Lindsey and I all but did synchronized cartwheels last night, after watching the U.S. men out-relay the trash-talking and heavily favored Frenchies. Anchor Jason Lezak’s full-body split was incredible — just one of the many reasons I love the Olympics.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6UhMKF8DU[/youtube]
Oh, how I miss the advertising rivalries of the 80s.
Further reading:
Friggin’ sweat! Located in Columbus, Ohio.
Warner Bros has confirmed that Goonies 2 is in production, reports Moviehole. “A source at Warner Bros has since confirmed [Goonies 2],” the site asserts, “saying they are developing it as a major movie, but won’t share anything other than that.”
Here’s hoping the news is legit. What with the recent announcement of Tron 2, I’ll soon be in 80s geek heaven.
Before high school graduation, a mission, college, marriage, two children, and a semi-real job, I was an aspiring rock star. I learned to play guitar and wrote my first song at age 14. I joined my first band (a trio named Formaldehyde) at 15, as singer and guitarist. We were kind of a big deal in po dunk Carrollton at the time (insert smiley face). I even got stopped at the local Blockbuster and movie theater by adoring fans (for reals).
As with all things in life, video games are best when shared with others. But despite the medium’s rich history and current resurgence of multiplayer games, a tired stigma remains:
Video games are played in isolation, and thus perpetuate social retards.
“There is still this mindset that video games are lone wolf activities for like-minded groups of nerds,” says Troy Goodfellow, a freelance critic for nearly a decade. “But on the contrary, they build connections better than a lot of people think.”
After four weeks of inexplicable pain in my right leg, I was diagnosed with a herniated (possibly ruptured) disc in my lower back yesterday. Said injury partially blocks my sciatic nerve, making my right leg mad at me.
In all seriousness, it’s rather disabling — causing limping, an inability to sit or stand for long periods of time, and loss of feeling in my foot. Unbeknownst to me, it seems I sustained the injury during my 10K run on July 4.
If only I had maintained my previous life of idleness and extreme atrophy, none of this would have happened. 😉
(I should be fine, by the way, with at least a shot, physical therapy, and time. If not, routine surgery should take care of it. UPDATE: I had surgery in late August. It was a success and I’m on my way back to 100%.)
The United States is nearing bankruptcy, and yet officials want to borrow more money (!) to curb economic woes, according to today’s headlines. It’s amazing how fiscally incompetent these knuckleheads have become — they’ve all but defecated on our once precious dollar.
As harsh as it sounds, natural consequences (i.e. bankruptcy, foreclosures, loss of jobs) is the only way to atone for our country’s overly optimistic and unchecked enthusiasm of recent years. This includes irresponsible land developers, loan officers, politicians, investment bankers, and home owners who bit off more than they could chew — all of whom ignored the basic principles of supply and demand.
Dude, where’s my country? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.
See also:
Ars Technica has a nice summation of the rhythm wars, aka the battle between Guitar Hero and Rock Band for rhythm game (and profit) supremacy. So who will win? From the article:
For rock fans, picking a title could be as simple as one track or one band that tips that scales; assuming that both games are fun to play and the hardware works well enough, the track list is what will move rhythm games of the future.
It’s worth noting that Guitar Hero sells significantly more games, while Rock Band sells significantly more digital downloads. And save only the music creator of Guitar Hero, both games are near-identical in features, including separate online stores.
Personally, I prefer Guitar Hero to Rock Band (having played both extensively), because the music is more rocking, the peripherals are sturdier, and the difficulty is more challenging. Plus, it’s the original gangsta of rock video games in America.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU9YeOQm3Y0[/youtube]
From this video we learn two things:
[via Nick Roussos]
Though I’m embarrassed to say it, especially given that my livelihood (read: writing) depends on it, I’ve seemingly broken up with nutritious reading this year. Without noticing, I’ve gone more than seven months without reading a single book (okay, maybe one). I’m not even sure why.
I still read junk literature on a daily basis (i.e. online articles), but those don’t count. I need more Hemmingway, Austen, and Potok in my diet. Unfortunately, I have no desire to open a book, due to a prolonged state of atrophy and laziness. I want to fall in love again and admire my wife and colleagues who remain passionate about the medium.
Have you ever broken up with books? If so, how did you rekindle the fire?
Myself. Normally not wide- or cross-eyed, I swear.
Remember how embarrassed Elaine from Seinfeld was when she discovered her home made Christmas card — photographed by Kramer — partially exposed her right nipple? That was only sent to a few dozen people. Now imagine if gajillions of people saw your wedding tackle, in full view mind you, on the cover of Nirvana’s seminal 1991 album, Nevermind.
Lindsey and I both had teeth cleanings on Monday.
Unfortunately for us, the “lab tech” polishing are pearlies couldn’t keep her mouth shut. She talked about past boyfriends, the lack of air conditioning, the wall decorations, how the new dentist is having a hard time paying bills (that makes me feel better), and other small-talk minutia ad nauseum.
Now, I rather enjoy listening to strangers and asking questions to learn more about them. But not when I can’t say anything in response; not when the discussion is mindless generalities. And definitely not when I’m getting my teeth cleaned (something I’ve always enjoyed).
To top off the bad experience, I was seemingly misdiagnosed in my exam, and my the dentist was all but begging my wife for repeat business. I guess it’s time to find a new dentist.
Lindsey and I saw The Dark Knight while attending Nerdtacular ’08 on Saturday. Here are my thoughts, bullet point style:
I will be in Los Angeles for E3 this week and will not be updating the site. Upon my return, however, I’ll scoop you kind readers on my trip, how the show was, if it will continue (it’s rumored this will be the last year due to inefficacy), and what the best games were. Have a great week, everyone!
See also:
According to Dictionary.com, “diffident” is an adjective describing someone who is:
1. lacking confidence in one’s own ability, worth, or fitness.
2. restrained or reserved in manner, conduct, etc.
Good word. Will have to use it more.
With only a week to go, we profile the 25 most-promising titles expected this year.
We’ve polled our editorial team, scoured the internet, and given special attention to original efforts to develop the following list of 25 games, all of which has us giddy with the prospects. So with exception to unknown announcements, you can confidently count on these babies to be shown this year… and hopefully playable.
http://chron.com — Everyone knows nothing melts a mother’s heart like a baby’s smile. But Houston researchers have found that it also activates a region of the brain known as the reward center, a middle area associated with feelings of euphoria. Previous research has shown the reward center also flips on when addicts take drugs.
Confirmed! But parents already knew this.
Lindsey, my father-in-law, and I ran our first 10k at the Provo Freedom Festival on Saturday. Although I ran (ahem, slow-jogged) the entire 6.2 miles, my right leg now feels like jell-o. Nevertheless, I think I’m falling in love with this running business. Regarding the “medal,” I felt silly wearing it because the promoters gave one to all 1125 runners (unique, just like everyone else).
Last night while playing Putt-Putt with Lindsey, I heard a radio ad over the loud speaker that went something like this:
In debt? Variable mortgage rates got you down? Then call us today to find out how to pay off all of your debts, including your home, in less than fives years, without ever increasing your payments or income!!! The “Debt-To-Wealth System” has already begun working for home owners in your area [insert bogus, bad acting customer testimonials here].
Why didn’t I think of that!?
Pixar’s Wall-E and Stanly Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey share a lot in common. Both are set in space, feature little dialog, have robots taking over the world, are immensely artistic, won’t keep a 2 and ½ year-old engaged despite their G rating, and offer a handful of sophisticated moments in filmmaking. But both are really monotonous — an analogy proving that Wall-E is easily Pixar’s worst film to date, for both adults and children alike.
Lindsey and I have been training for a long distance run this fall. It’s one of the toughest physical goals I’ve ever set, at least in terms of endurance, which often leaves me discouraged. In short, while my body is not fatiguing, my mind is. It makes me feel mentally soft.
So I ask you, dear Smooth Harold readers. What do you do to obtain, maintain, and demonstrate mental toughness when the going get tough? What do you do to get “in the zone” and find the courage to keep pressing on physically when the finish line seems so far off?
