Can we improve our health by changing when we do something during the day? “Yes,” argue a growing number of circadian doctors.
For instance, the above report found that over half of our body’s organs and cells function on a 24 hour clock and perform differently depending on the sun. For example, our livers like to sleep at night, so if we wake them up with food when the sun goes down, they don’t do as good of a job and people who eat late are statistically heavier and sleep poorly.
The same is true of skipping sleep on the weekends to socialize or consuming more calories in the second half of the day. Researchers found that doing this wrecks our performance and digestion until we get back on rhythm. Athletes in particular are especially aware of this as it affects their income (as it does our office work, whether we know it or not).
Although we still don’t know all the ways sunlight affects organ performance, we do know that being active and outside more during the day leads to better sleep, which leads to better immunity, decisions, and ultimate health the very next day.
So long as we stay in rhythm, our performance and enjoyment of life increases. Talk about free medicine!
I read of a man who stood to speak At the funeral of a friend He referred to the dates on the tombstone From the beginning…to the end
He noted that first came the date of birth And spoke the following date with tears, But he said what mattered most of all Was the dash between those years
For that dash represents all the time That they spent alive on earth. And now only those who loved them Know what that little line is worth
For it matters not, how much we own, The cars…the house…the cash. What matters is how we live and love And how we spend our dash.
So, think about this long and hard. Are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough To consider what’s true and real And always try to understand The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger And show appreciation more And love the people in our lives Like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect And more often wear a smile, Remembering this special dash Might only last a little while
So, when your eulogy is being read With your life’s actions to rehash… Would you be proud of the things they say About how you spent YOUR dash?
My latest for Paste Magazine: “This year I’m pretty sure I discovered the most convenient, if not affordable, way to island hop Hawaii. It’s called “inter-island” cruising and Norwegian is the only liner exclusively doing it. While other cruises incorporate a couple Hawaiian islands on larger South Pacific itineraries, Norwegian’s 7-day Inter Island Cruise aboard the Pride of America sets sail every week of the year from its home port in Honolulu.
“After port-hopping with my wife for seven days to Hawaii’s four most famous islands—Oahu, Maui, Kauai, and “The Big Island”—I’d use one word to sum up the experience: exceptional. As the only cruise ship in the world to fly a U.S. flag from its stern, Pride of America is a special, award-winning, and exotic journey into the heart of the country’s most fabled vacation destination. It’s like one big “Best of Hawaii” tour where you only unpack once while visiting five different ports and spending the majority of your time on land (no sea days here).”
When someone is “disarming,” it literally means that their very nature, character, and personality make you drop your weapons. In modern vernacular, someone who is disarming is calming. They encourage you to let your guard down.
This is an excellent skill to possess, especially if you work with a lot of people in sometimes tense situations. While it’s healthy to be cautious and skeptical, sometimes each of us are also on high alert. Whether through previous baggage or PTSD, we are overly alarmed.
To counter this, a disarming person is vulnerable, unfiltered, honest, empathetic, and thoughtful. Some people might call this refreshingly real. That’s one way to be disarming.
Another way is to give another person a chance to process what you’re about to tell them. Prepare them for what you’d like to discuss. For instance, lead with “Can I ask you a difficult question?” if you need to talk about a touchy or sensitive subject, which should never be discussed cold. You could also try, “I have something sensitive to talk to you about. Is now a good time?”
As the discussion hopefully moves forward, don’t get emotional, which only arms someone further. Stay neutral and calm, even if things get tense. When you hear something that sounds harsh, try responding with: “What I heard you say was this: [What they said.] Is that right?”
If they rightfully call you out for doing something wrong or offensive, don’t forget to offer a heartfelt apology. “I’m sorry I did that. Will you forgive me?”
Now, a third way to be disarming is to be incredibly perceptive, hyper alert to body language, and charming. Often times to the point of being manipulative. You don’t want to be this kind of disarming unless you are a con man or crook.
Finally, what’s the best way to tell if you’ve been disarmed by a genuine person or a crook? The former will leave you feeling good about yourself. The later will make you feel good on the outside but uneasy on the inside. As if something was slightly off. Pay attention to those feelings.
Our gut instincts have helped us survive for thousands of years and they will help you to, but you have to listen to them. Good luck!
I was recently invited on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to attend two icons of European sport in a single week: Wimbledon and Le Mans. It would have been an all-expense paid trip for my travel column.
Apparently some journalist couldn’t attend, so I was emailed a last minute invite in his place. First-class overseas airfare. Center court Wimbledon tickets. 5-star hotel. Several Michelin-rated restaurants. And test driving a fancy new sports car around Le Mans! I was giddy with the prospects of visiting and writing about the experience, but I knew not to count my chickens until they hatched.
Because I check email infrequently in an effort to stay sane and get more work done, I didn’t accept the invitation until nearly three hours later, after consulting with my wife. Several days passed, and I didn’t hear back. A few days later, I replied again and the publicist apologetically told me that “this invite filled up fast,” so I didn’t get the booking.
Maybe the person that did was a bigger deal than me. Maybe the good luck gods were conspiring against me. Or maybe had I checked my email more quickly I could have locked in the reservation.
Whatever the reason, I’ll never go back to constantly checking email like I did 13 years ago. If I actually did lose this gig because I was slow to respond, the last 13 years of better sanity and productivity were totally worth it. I’m certain the next 13 will be, too. But this one stings, even if it’s the epitome of all first-world problems.
My advice: Spend almost as much time asking people if you can write for them as you do actually writing for them. In the early days, I spent upwards of half of my time asking editors if I can write for them. Most ignored me. Several rejected me. But a handful said yes. In other words, being a freelance writer requires a lot of hustle. That lessens the longer you’re in the game and the more “free” referral work you get as you build your reputation. But even now after years of bylines I have to hustle to ask people if I can write for them. Good luck!
Less Bad. My new album that doesn’t suck. Biased but proud. Listen to Sorta Social, Ricky’s Song, I Did It, and Carry On if you don’t believe me.
Dropout Boogie. Groovy new Black Keys record that doesn’t disappoint. “Your Team Is Looking Good” is my current favorite.
The Dream. Super weird new album by Alt-J is hauntingly beautiful and downright fun at times.
Top Gun Maverick. Terrific score for a terrific movie. 10 thoughtful songs that make you feel good.
Take The Sadness Out of Saturday Night. The latest album by Bleachers isn’t quite as strong as their first two albums, but this is a solid, softer album that still moves me.
Honorable mention: 12 Carat Toothache by Post Malone
My latest for Fodor’s Travel: “Utah does two things remarkably well. Its unique climate catches the driest, fluffiest snow in the world, which is terrible for snowballs. But it’s heavenly for skiing—like gliding on clouds. Secondly, it stars some of the most fascinating rock formations and canyons on the planet–the former is out of this world, the latter legitimately rivals the Grand Canyon. More than 60% of Utah lands are public, and about 100% (give or take) of those public lands are otherworldly, photogenic, recreational paradises.” Continue reading…
My latest for Paste Magazine: “I adore John Denver’s “Country Road,” which is synonymous with West Virginia all over the world. But I never would have visited “The Mountain State” had New River Gorge not been named the nation’s newest National Park. Maybe I was a little prejudiced after learning about its coal mining mishaps, which left an enduring stain on the otherwise beautiful state and its unpretentious people.
“Whatever it was, I was wrong. West Virginia deserves your attention. Its newest and only national park is everything it’s cracked up to be; an outstanding place to river raft, mountain bike, hike, and rock climb.” Continue reading…
An old friend recently asked what I’ve been up to lately. Here’s the full answer as of this year:
Freelance writing. I’ve been writing full-time for 17 years now. Since the Great Recession of 2009, however, writing explanatory tech and business stories for Fortune 500 companies has made up the bulk of my work. That continues today, writing mostly for software and consulting companies, as well as some travel publications for fun.
Non-profit speaking. With the generous support of my good friend Craig, I started speaking to local elementary school students as part of my non-profit. We have more events planned in the fall, and it feels good to extend the movement beyond the book. Our first campaign includes giving away cool t-shirts to encourage people to “Live Heads Up.”
Starting my third book. It’s called Today I Crush All Negativity, and it attempts to explain when and how to be optimistic and when and how to be pessimistic, regardless if you believe the glass is “half empty” or “half full.” If all goes to plan, I hope to publish the by the end of the year. I can’t wait for you to read it. I’ve interviewed a few billionaires for their perspective and hope to do the same with some homeless folks, too.
Releasing my second album. I am so proud of it, promise it doesn’t suck, and hope you listen to it if you haven’t already. If you listen to just one song, make it “Sorta Social.” To promote the album, I even started a band to tour locally in Utah.
Middle-age parenting. My family is rapidly becoming an older, adolescent family instead of the early childhood one its been for a long time. I can just feel it—and it feels special. I can talk to my older kids like an adult, and the younger ones are very independent. As part of that, I’m trying to deepen my relationships with them to hopefully avoid any future “daddy issues.” I feel encouraged by that and am closer to my wife than ever before.
Yesterday at my kids’ soccer tryouts, I overheard two young mothers discussing husband careers. Apparently one of them is starting a company that’s “building a rock climbing app in the metaverse.”
I smiled at the naivete. The metaverse isn’t real. It’s entertaining science fiction that recently became a buzzword to sell exaggerated internet developments.
To be clear, I’m all for building new things—even “pipe dreams” like shipping east coast water to west coast droughts. But substantial things are honestly described and easily understood every time.
Otherwise you’re discussing something that isn’t real.
(Spoiler alert: Living heads up is safer, more rewarding, and more fulfilling than living heads down on a tiny screen.)
Anyway, we printed off a bunch of t-shirts, and Craig and I are giving them out to local K-12 students. Our first “assembly” is tomorrow, and I’m terrified of this happening during my brief remarks: Continue reading…
I don’t like academic writing. It’s mostly nonsense.
A few years ago, I said as much to my father who works in academia. Despite my insensitivity and lack of tact, I stand by my belief. Not because I’m incapable of admitting when I’m wrong. But because academic writing’s verbose language, impersonal tone, and dispassionate delivery ultimately fail to engage readers.
In other words, “Academics are really good at writing books that only academics will read, but they’re not very good at making anyone outside of academia care,” says Jared Bauer, co-creator of Thug Notes, in an interview with Huffington Post. “Teaching isn’t easy, so I’m not trying to shame teachers for not trying more radical approaches to literature education,” he adds. “But at the very least, I hope (our) show makes teachers realize that a student won’t volunteer their attention. The teacher must seize it.”
As I debated with my father that day, for writing to succeed, it must capture the reader’s attention. If it doesn’t, the writing won’t get shared, influence can’t happen, and the opportunity to learn is squandered, even among scholars. There’s no point to that kind of writing other than to serve as a reminder of how not to write. Continue reading…
My dad was born and raised in Northern Idaho. Few, if any, minorities lived there at the time. And yet my Indian-loving grandfather and grandmother taught him not to pay attention to race. Instead, they taught my father to accept each individual on their own merits, like many people had before.
My mother and father taught me the same. In fact, I can’t recall a single time when my dad mentioned race when describing someone. Bank robber in the news? He didn’t mention it. Star athlete in the news? He didn’t mention it. Poor family in need? He didn’t mention it.
Outside of home, I experienced a very different, if not disparaging “us against them” interpretation of race while growing up in the deep, formerly segregated south. That is you talk about race and generalize it all of the time. You divide or bond over it even.
In middle school, for example, one girl who didn’t look like me insisted that minority races cannot be racist or prejudice. That didn’t make sense. Another classmate approached me one day and starting spewing derogatory and racist language, wrongly believing that I shared his toxic views because our skin looked the same. That didn’t make sense either.
Today, I realize we have to talk about difficult things sometimes, racial tension very much included. But I also believe someone’s race is a lousy indicator of their true character. If my own upbringing is any indication, we can either rehash the same juvenile discussions on race to similar effect, or we can take the more mature approach that my father did: in most instances where race doesn’t matter, don’t mention it.
I’m not saying this simple act can cure centuries of racism. But I know first-hand it has the power to heal. You should try it sometime (if you haven’t already). Unless you’re being asked by a cop to identify a suspect, please don’t mention race when describing someone.
This is a fascinating long-read by Madeleine Aggeler: “The Liver King does own shirts, first of all. Several, he claims. I haven’t personally seen them, because when he greeted me in the cavernous entryway of his Texas mansion, he wasn’t wearing one. Nor did I see any in his closet later, which—though it contains approximately 900 identical pairs of athletic shorts and enough guns and ammunition to arm the military of a smaller nation—did not seem to contain even a single t-shirt. Nonetheless, he assured me that there are a few in there, somewhere. It was a bit like when a sign at a national park tells you there are mountain lions in the woods: You believe it, but you understand that you’re unlikely to cross paths with any.” Continue reading…
You can take a band out of France, but you can’t take French out of a band. Any foreigner who has interacted with a lot of French know precisely what I mean by that. It’s one of the many things Americans and British share knowing looks over. (Or conversely how foreigners share knowing looks over me and my fellow Americans.)
And I only mean that in a slightly derogatory way. I love the French and that’s not a backhanded compliment. I love that they invented modern democracy, cooking, and Daft Punk. Everyone outside of Paris are easily the most warm, welcoming, and endearing people on the entire European continent. I know because I backpacked through their rural towns for a week. Heck, I even like Parisians as much as I do New Yorkers, and that’s a lot.
But for many of us, there’s something slightly off-putting about the French and New Yorkers. In this case, after reading Phoenix: In Their Own Words, there’s a foreign arrogance, seriousness, and overly romantic way in which some of the band members tell their story.
The story is this: the band gives an album by album account of their life from their early years, into their successful years, and onto the recent years where they’ve still churned out incredibly catchy indie melodies. Published just before pandemic started and filled with candid photos, I really enjoyed the account, minus the aforementioned, albeit brief, encounters with foreign arrogance.
The vast majority of the book, in fact, is totally endearing. While I wish there was a little more inside music information, I quickly read the entire thing as an avowed fan and lover of both music and French culture. My favorite part is after being dropped by their label since their first three albums failed to achieve mainstream success, the thirty-something members doubled down, paid for their own fourth album, and turned it into their greatest success to date, both commercially and artistically. Later that year while headlining Coachella, Beyonce and Jay-Z were at the side of the stage belting the lyrics of not only their lead singles, but deep cuts from that album.
My latest for Paste Magazine: “Know what the second biggest industry in D.C. is, after the federal government? It’s actually tourism—over 20 million people visit our nation’s capital each year. And it’s not just patriotic Americans and school buses filling the streets. Washington welcomes visitors from all over the world, which you’ll encounter as you walk the National Mall.
“I first visited D.C. as a junior in high school with a local youth group. Like most self-centered teenagers, I was disinterested by anything that wasn’t music related, a trip to D.C. very much included. But I left with a newfound appreciation for the arts, achievements, and history of America that week. “I will take my kids here someday,” I even uttered.
“That day arrived this year, after my wife and I booked our family for a weeklong visit over spring break, just in time to catch the last few cherry blossoms (while also skipping the swampy summer weather). In short, D.C. is a surprisingly quiet, clean, pedestrian-friendly city with arguably more free things to do than any other city on Earth.” Continue reading…
This is a photo of my wife Lindsey taken 10 years ago in Twin Falls, Idaho. She has her hands full. At my request, she wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a family photo while driving back home. But she’s holding it together, juggling the kids, smiling for the camera.
The next month, she would unknowingly become pregnant with our fifth child. Surprise!
I love this photo. It perfectly captures the chaotic, selfless, and devoted life of not only my own wife, but mothers in general.
Truth be told, I wouldn’t be where I am today without my wife. I don’t mean that in a vague, feel-good type way. I literally mean I wouldn’t be the full-time writer I am today without my wife. Let me explain. Continue reading…
It’s not as iconic, big, or as juicy as Shoe Dog, but Authentic: A Memoir of Vans by Paul Van Doren is a straightforward, if not understated, perspective on business success. Just like the shoes themselves. I enjoyed this quick read and threw it in the growing pile of inspiring American success stories.
Rating: ★★★☆☆. These were some of my favorite passages:
Hard work, honesty, and caring for people are what yield success. The beauty lies in simplicity, so don’t overcomplicate things.
My belief is that you can always teach people how to do things. What you cannot teach people is how to understand other people.
My experiment proved that we did indeed have a serious quality control problem: the people in charge of quality control had no idea what they were looking at.
When I started interviewing people for jobs with us, the first thing I would do after someone handed me his or her résumé was toss it in the trash. They would be horrified, of course, and get nervous, but when I proceeded to ask questions and have them tell me about themselves in their own words, they relaxed. How else could I find out who they really were?
We can all recognize that we need one another. I said it at the outset of this book, and I’ll say it again: no one gets anywhere alone.
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
I recently finished When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi. I was utterly moved by this powerful account of Kalanithi’s own life as a neurosurgeon, the most demanding physician in the world, and his own premature death in his mid thirties after contracting terminal cancer.
Not only was Kalanithi a paragon brain surgeon, though, he is an absolute poet on the meaning of life, the humanity of doctors, and making the most out of a terrible situation.
Here’s how I explained the idea in chapter 7: “Of all the research I’ve reviewed over the last decade, The Four Burners Theory is the leading cause of dying with regret. The theory argues that an individual’s life can be divided into four quadrants, or “burners,” of a conventional stove: family, friends, health, and work. “In order to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners,” the theory states. “And in order to be really successful you have to cut off two.”
But since publishing the book, I’ve slightly updated the more traditional definition of the four burners. I do this by merging friends and family into a single “social” category, which many people already do, while adding “hobbies,” which is a huge area that humans devote time to. In that way, the updated burners cover all of your bases.
The same gas limits still apply, of course. If you want to be iconic at the expense of others, pick just one and jack up the heat (think: Steve Jobs). If you want to be great, pick only two burners and run ’em hot. If you want to be good, pick three burners and cook moderately. If you want to be well-rounded and multi-dimensional, slow burn all four.
My wife and I were recently talking to our kids about changing habits.
I learned long ago that will power doesn’t work. Never has, never will (i.e. if talk is cheap, thoughts are even cheaper). To change our behavior, we must change our environment with specific goals that reinforce one another.
For example, if you want to lose weight, you need to consume a lot more water and eat less processed foods and desserts every day. Exercise alone doesn’t work. Stacking good habits does, however.
In January, I set a goal to stop swearing. Not because I think it’s immoral or not hilariously funny at times. But I suspected that profanity had a direct effect on my anger, an issue I still struggle with.
I was right.
After setting a specific goal to never cuss this year in any verbal or written communication, my anger is at an all time low. Not since I took an anger management class seven years ago have I felt this encouraged.
I still stumble, of course. So far this year, I stupidly threw two S-grenades at my wife while bickering with her. And I dropped an F-bomb on Alexa after she failed to understand a verbal command for the umpteenth time. How embarrassing is that.
Still, there’s no way I’m going back to swearing, at least until I get a full and complete handle on my anger, which I’m getting closer to.
I’m grateful humans can change habits with the help of specific, daily goals. But we must pair those goals with other environmental habits to build momentum and make a difference. You got this!
“Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were able also to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives, no matter what the physical scars. Those who nursed their bitterness remained invalids. It was as simple and as horrible as that.
‘Jesus, help me!’ I prayed silently (as my former captor outstretched his hand). ‘I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.’
And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.
‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried. ‘With all my heart!’”
Why are suckers born every minute? How can we explain “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is“? Why are humans encouraged to “think twice” before doing things? And why do we judge “books” by their covers?
The answers to those questions and many more can be found in Daniel Kahneman’s eye-opening book, Thinking Fast and Slow. It’s a fascinating, enlightening, and scientifically accessible read.
After decades of research, Kahneman discovered that the brain makes decisions in two ways. The first is system 1 thinking—the fast, almost involuntary, and largely gut-based decision-making required to operate. It quickly processes tasks like “eat this, pick up that, move out of the way,” and even, “stay alive.” System 1 makes hundreds, if not thousands, of decisions each day and is the “hero of the book,” says Kahneman. System 1 gets things done.
System 2, on the other hand, is slow to engage, deliberate, and lazy. It deals with doubt, uncertainty, statistics, and heavy cognitive loads like writing, performing surgery, solving advanced math—anything that requires intense focus, really. System 2 is not emotional. It’s the part of your brain that questions the source, asks for hard numbers to back up claims, and is innately critical. It deems things guilty until proven innocent. Continue reading…
My latest travel column for Paste Magazine: As global travel restrictions all but disappear, the world’s largest hotelier expects pent up demand to finally pop. “An overwhelming number of people are going to travel this year,” one Marriott representative told me. “In fact, 77% of Americans plan to take at least one trip, domestic or international.” That’s a lot of people—hundreds of millions even. Because math.
In an effort to ease travelers back into the swing of things, Marriott is making a big push to promote their free Bonvoy rewards program, where guests can earn points anytime they stay at one of the company’s 7600 hotels across 30 total brands, which have made it the world’s largest hotel company by a wide margin over the last five years. To sweeten the deal, guests can earn points on Uber rides, car rentals, or while booking tours.
This month, my wife and I decided to use this program to book our first intercontinental trip since the world closed. Our only criteria: we wanted to travel to Europe, to someplace we’d never been, and we wanted it to be welcoming to foreigners, i.e. with few (if any) restrictions. After some Googling, we decided on Lisbon, Portugal, which has been trending for the last decade as a sunkissed, warm, and scenic city with a lot of history. Continue reading…
Not long ago, my buddy told me how much his parents spent on a monthly storage unit to house things they no longer used.
“That’s over $20,000 total!” I blurted out after crunching the numbers for the many years they’d leased the unit.
“Wow—you’re right,” he admitted after considering the math.
I respect free will, but I was saddened by the amount of waste. And I secretly hoped something could be done.
The next month, my friend and his wife did something wonderful.
They condensed the storage unit into a few bins they felt his parents might someday use, then threw out the rest. They stored the remaining bins in their own garage and canceled the lease.
Upon hearing the news, my friend’s parents were quiet, he told me. But after learning of all that had been done, they felt loved, helped, and supported.
I’ve enjoyed or loved 90% of every movie Quentin Tarantino has ever made. My wife and I started Kill Bill several years ago, but I think we were tired or something so turned it off and never came back to it.
This spring we did, and the second film might be one of my favorite Tarantino movies of all time. It’s amazing the lengths a woman will go and this movie creatively demonstrates that. I was in awe of the shots and creative mix of color, black and white, and animated sequences.
Many years ago, I started a habit of writing regular gratitude letters to people who helped me, changed my perspective, or did something nice for me or my family. I even started writing letters to mentors from my past, authors of books that I admired, directors of movies I liked, musicians whose music I enjoyed.
To this day, I continue to write gratitude letters for the following reasons:
Gratitude letters force us to feel grateful. That’s important because gratitude is the the number one way to increase our happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment in life. It’s science, no joke.
Gratitude letters spread joy. When people feel good about themselves, they are nicer to others and feel better about themselves. So if you want to make the world a better place for yourself and others, gratitude letters are an easy way to spread joy and increase kindness.
Gratitude letters force you to write in different ways. I’ve written books, long-form articles, business reports, blogs, video scripts, and everything in between. But to this day, gratitude letters are some of the most challenging things for me to write, simply because they demand genuine thoughts and feelings. This makes me a better writer I believe.
Don’t know where to start? Consider this approach: “Close your eyes and think of someone who did something important for you that changed your life in a good direction but who you never properly thanked. It could be that you’re really grateful to a teacher who inspired your love of acting and who persuaded you to try for drama school when everyone else was dead set against it. Maybe you’d like to thank your boss or a colleague for helping you with a particularly tricky project at work. Or perhaps you choose to write a friend who helped you through a tough time… Describe specifically what they did and what influence it had on you. Let them know what you are doing now, and mention how you often remember what she did.”
Although I’d say a large portion of my gratitude letters go unanswered, that’s not why I write them. But it’s a sweet experience when I do get an answer. One famous writer wrote me eight months later saying he kept my email at the top of his inbox to remind himself that he was a good writer. Another director from Los Angeles wrote back and invited me to lunch the next time I was in town. The college professor that inspired me to become a writer replied saying he had no idea and that my email was a good reminder to him that we never know how our efforts touch the lives of others.
Moral of the story: people are amazing and writing gratitude letters is good for everyone.
Twelve years ago I canceled every phone alert that didn’t come from my wife, every social media account, and many unimportant diversions. I wrote a best-selling book about the life-changing experience and received reader mail from all over the world sharing similar stories of sublime focus, better relationships, and greater fulfillment.
Better yet, I didn’t have to move to the mountains, quit my favorite hobbies, or commit social suicide to accomplish this. I didn’t even have to sacrifice my professional growth or even abandon my smartphone (the most empowering technology in my lifetime).
But I did have to change my default phone, screen, and technology settings to avoid fear of missing out (FOMO) syndrome, a first-world problem that phones made mainstream. To do this, I silenced all my phone notifications and alerts (both visual and audible) unless they come from my wife and kids. Apps (and by extension my phone) are not allowed to interrupt my life under any circumstance. I reach for it when I need to use it. Never the other way around.
The only exception to this is phone calls, which is how true emergencies are still communicated. Thanks to a spam filter, I get very few phones calls. Turns out, most of life’s “emergencies” are easily handled by text or email, which I likely won’t see until I’m done with the current task at hand, which might take me a few hours, but I’ll still get it done in a reasonable amount of time.
But I digress. People who are way smarter than me, including many Silicon Valley executives such as Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, take a similar approach to gutting their phone notifications. They do this because it’s the greatest life-hack of the 21st century. They do this because it helps them to reclaim up to 20 hours week, in my estimation, and up to 40 depending on how obsessed you are with doomscrolling, screen binging, and addictive gaming.
Let that sink in for a moment. THERE VERY PEOPLE THAT INVENTED THESE THINGS DON’T USE THEM AS DESIGNED.
Don’t believe me? The burden of proof is on you. The only thing I’m “selling” is more free time for yourself, which I’m convinced everyone of us can use to live a more meaningful life. Living heads down is no way to live. I’m convinced the world would be a better place if more people lived heads-up instead. That’s why I do this.
As the northern hemisphere reblooms this spring, I challenge you to swallow your ego, turn off your phone alerts unless they come from your closest loved ones, and see what you can do with all the distraction-free time I’m promising. Granted, I won the “high energy” lottery at birth. But it’s not the only superpower I use to seize the day.
Several years ago, I was asked by a software director at one of the world’s largest technology companies to write a series of articles. He originally wanted me to explain the work his team was doing in a language that everyone understood. But as we talked further, he was having reservations about my breezy, informal writing style.
“Our audience doesn’t want to be talked down to,” he said, misinterpreting the point of clear writing, everyday speech, and simple words. “They take their work seriously, so the writing must use complex language and terminology.”
This was pure ego. Like some people, he needed big, technical words to feel good about the important work he was doing. And he was willing to sacrifice clarity, better readability, and greater reach to feel good about his highly technical job.
It was obvious I wasn’t a good fit, so I wished him luck in finding someone else. But my meetings with him underscored a cardinal rule that every novelist, journalist, and nonfiction writer adheres to:
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If you can saying something with one syllable that can be said with two or more syllables, always use the shorter word. Your writing and readership will be better for it.
Need help writing this year? I know a really good guy. Thanks for reading.
After first seeing the movie decades ago, I read Catch Me If You Can this month. It was a heck of a story and page-turner for sure. But I had an inkling while reading that it’s just too good, in this case outlandish, to be true.
In that way it seems as though author Frank Abagnale conned as many listeners and readers as the reported check and identify fraud he alleges to have committed, according to Wikipedia. Multiple reports state he didn’t come close to cashing $2.5 million in bad checks, that his exploits as a fake pilot, doctor, lawyer, and professor are grossly exaggerated (if not patently false), and that he never evaded police like he claims or worked for the FBI after being caught. “The man is not an imposter, he is a liar,” said one US Attorney General.
For that, I award it ★★★☆☆. These were my favorite passages:
It’s not how good a check looks but how good the person behind the check looks that influences tellers and cashiers.
“You’ll learn, Frank, that when you’re up there’re hundreds of people who’ll claim you as a friend. When you’re down, you’re lucky if one of them will buy you a cup of coffee. If I had it to do over again, I’d select my friends more carefully.”
“It’s not what a man has but what a man is that’s important… As long as a man knows what he is and who he is, he’ll do all right.”
“When you have reached your own room, be kind to those who have chosen different doors and to those who are still in the hall. If they are wrong they need your prayers all the more; and if they are your enemies, then you are under orders to pray for them. That is one of the rules common to the whole house.”—C.S. Lewis
After church recently, one of my neighbors approached me and said, “We heard your band while walking by your house the other night.” This phrase always makes me anxious for two reasons:
I hope my neighbors don’t mind the loud noise coming from my garage
I wonder if they heard a good performance or a bad one
The tricky part about playing live music is your mistakes are glaringly, embarrassingly, and publicly obvious. If anyone in the band plays or sings a rogue note, it clashes hard with the other voices and sounds terrible.
This especially happens when rehearsing new songs, which my band often does. So I never really know what passerbys are hearing.
“We liked it,” my neighbor reassured me.
Phew.
It would be so much easier if musicians could make silent mistakes like a misplaced brushstroke. I don’t believe musicians have it harder than other artists, but the former sure do seem more exposed sometimes.
Over the last two months, I’ve conducted a dozen interviews for my upcoming book on optimism and pessimism. I’m incredibly excited about the things I’m learning from psychologists, therapists, entrepreneurs, and near-death survivors. (Spoiler alert: People are amazing!)
That said, I’ve also wrestled with how much people can individually change. My heart and past experience recognize that change is possible. But it might be more incremental or slower than many of us hope for, which can be discouraging at the outset.
Nevertheless, one of my interviews produced a nuanced quote to drive this point home: “Change isn’t hard, but staying the same is much easier.” As Newton put it in his first law of motion (or inertia): “If a body is at rest or moving in a straight line, it will remain at rest or keep moving in a straight line unless it is acted upon by a force.”
So it is with change. It’s easer to stay at rest or in the same direction we’re heading. But we can also be the force for change. And this applies to logging off and fixing any offline imbalances as much as anything.
I finished Richard Matheson’s engrossing 100 page I Am Legend recently. Published in the 1950s and made into several film adaptations, the book is about the last man living after a vampires take over the world.
Like many classic books, the plot just limped to its ending. For that I deduct one full star, but the other four are gripping. These were my favorite passages:
There was no sound but that of his shoes and the now senseless singing of birds. Once I thought they sang because everything was right with the world, Robert Neville thought. I know now I was wrong. They sing because they’re feeble-minded.
He put the drink down on the table. I don’t need it, he thought. My emotions don’t need feeding any more. I don’t need liquor for forgetting or for escaping. I don’t have to escape from anything. Not now.
All these books, he thought, the residue of a planet’s intellect, the scrapings of futile minds, the leftovers, the potpourri of artifacts that had no power to save men from perishing.
He suddenly realized that he had become an ill-tempered and inveterate bachelor again. He no longer thought about his wife, his child, his past life. The present was enough. And he was afraid of the possible demand that he make sacrifices and accept responsibility again.
My wife and I recently watched Manchester by the Sea. It’s a beautifully-acted but heart-wrenching story about a Boston man (played by Casey Affleck) that is left utterly devastated and largely alone after a careless act and some horrifying bad luck. In fact, it’s one of the saddest movies I’ve seen in years.
Although I appreciated the film, I forgot the importance of tragedy while exiting the theater. “For someone who is living in a comedy, is there any value in being reminded that life sucks sometimes?” I asked myself. “Is there any harm in solely watching movies with happy endings?”
With the help of the internet, this is what I learned: Continue reading…
I read my first Steinbeck novel recently, starting with his magnum opus, East of Eden. Spoiler alert: the celebrated author deserves all the hype he received over the last century. This book is a masterpiece of biblical proportions.
At first I didn’t think it was perfect, though. I didn’t love how one of the main characters quickly exists the book towards the end with an unsatisfying resolution, until my more astute reading wife explained to me that said character was already likable and therefore disposable without having to change like the other main character.
That realization changed my mind. This book is perfect. It is long-form poetry that made me laugh, broke my heart, filled me with rage, let me celebrate, and taught me over two dozen proverbs.
Five stars out of five—I loved it. These were my favorite passages: Continue reading…
Welcome to “Gutsy Writing” by Blake Snow—improve your writing in 5 minutes or less.
Not everyone can become a great writer, but a great writer can come from anywhere. The latter happens in one of two ways: they are naturally gifted like my wife, or they have to learn the hard way like I did.
For those like me, here are four certainties I’ve learned after 16 years of writing for fancy publications and Fortune 500 companies:
Say what you mean. Never mask or muck up your message with buzz words, cliches, or technical gibberish in an effort to sound smart or more convincing. Readers value clarity over all else. So instead of adopting garbage speak like “transformation,” say “change” instead.
Mean what you say. Be sincere in your writing. If you don’t believe what you’re saying, why should the reader? Secondly, use adjectives and superlatives sparingly. This builds credibility. And if you’re writing for a business (or ultimately trying to sell something), don’t hide the fact. Own it. Readers respect that.
Compose conversations. Make your writing breezy. Use contractions 99% of the time. Keep your sentences short. Read them aloud to ensure you’re not gasping for air. Write like you would talk to a friend. Give it to them straight with informal language they cannot call your bluff on.
Use spicy words. These little devils delight readers, give them pause, and force them to feel your sentences instead of skimming them. If you’re nervous or embarrassed to use a certain word, that’s probably the spice for you. Some of my favorites include bodacious, skedaddle, gusto, deafening, splendid, ballsy, terrific.
Be brave. You got this! 💪
Need help writing this year? If so, I know a really good guy. Thanks for reading.
The Atlantic reports: “Old songs now represent 70 percent of the U.S. music market. Even worse: The new-music market is actually shrinking. The problem isn’t a lack of good new music. It’s an institutional failure to discover and nurture it… The moguls have lost their faith in the redemptive and life-changing power of new music.” Continue reading…
It’s not rocket science. To get the most of your day, we must do the following:
Live by a daily prioritized calendar.
Surround yourself with positive people by shunning toxic ones and resolving tensions directly.
Break large tasks into smaller chunks (i.e. write chapters not books).
Do work you can be proud of while limiting distractions (i.e. email, social media, doomscrolling, mindless diversions)
Celebrate successes and overcome challenges with positive thinking.
Those are the most fulfilling habits I’ve adopted over the years, many of which are featured in Caroline Webb’s helpful How to Have a Good Day.
Although Webb spent too much time rehashing Kahneman’s groundbreaking Thinking Fast and Slow, I appreciated her earnestness in helping others.
Her formatting was also a little blocky, but the message rings true: “Studies have found we can reap immediate intellectual and emotional dividend from investing in exercise and sleep, or even from taking a moment to breathe deeply, smile broadly, and stand a little taller.”
I was recently asked what I know for sure. I didn’t have time to answer everything in detail, but upon further reflection, this is what I would have told them.
We live on the most beautiful planet in the universe. There are over 400 million planets in our galaxy alone and an estimated 21 million more galaxies in the observable universe (i.e. the only part of space that we can see with telescopes and far reaching satellites). So far, we’ve only observed all brown, red, or blue planets with no water or diversity on them. We are literally living on a home that is 1 in several gazillion. The math doesn’t even make sense—it’s that rare, meaning there is a God or we won the greatest evolutionary lottery in the known universe. Either way it’s profoundly beautiful.
Possessing a human body is a beautiful experience. I love the animal kingdom, but other species don’t hold a candle to the awesome existence of being a human. If you are reading this, again you won the universal lottery for most amazing species in the known universe. It. Is. Wonderful.
Humans are inherently good. They can be trusted, they really do try, the sometimes change, and they will amaze you if you let them. Don’t let the lemons or fear mongers tell you otherwise. We would have not have gotten as far as we have as a species if that weren’t the case.
The world is in good hands. On a similar note, people who say that youth cannot be trusted have no idea what they’re talking about because they only talk or listen to older people, especially loudmouth ones on TV. Having worked closely with youth for many years, they are even better than we are, just like we are largely better, more educated, more disciplined, and more empathetic than generations that came before us. Statistics bear this out, in fact. So don’t be old by saying the world is going to hell. It’s not, and younger generations will figure out the future just like we did, even if we don’t understand the new rules they play by. Continue reading…
You have one set of teeth, one set of knees, one set of lungs and one back. If you don’t take care of them, you can’t re-boot. You can get knee replacement surgery and you can get your teeth capped and wear dentures, or get new lungs, but it’s not the same as your originals. The back is much more tricky and if you damage it enough you’re never coming back from it.
You have one set of hands and feet. They are irreplaceable as is your brain. So if you damage them you’re never coming back from it.
Your body, in other words, is a one-off. You will never have another one as long as you live. If you start taking good care of it and you’re mindful in your 20’s, you’ll be far healthier and happier in your 50’s and beyond.”
My latest for Paste: “The California Zephyr is known for being the most beautiful train ride in all of North America. Operated by Amtrak with daily service between Chicago and Oakland, the Zephyr crosses 2,400 miles and takes 52 hours to complete. Having enjoyed rail travel on other continents, this fabled route through my own backyard has been on my bucket list for years.” Continue reading…
After hearing my new record, a local musician reached out and asked how I wrote two albums worth of songs in 18 months. The short answer is I dedicate most of my free time to music now.
I recently cut my daily news intake by 95%, halved the number of books I read each year, and since logging off, I don’t do social media, work nights or weekends, or watch TV beyond the occasional sportsball game. This saves me an additional 20-40 hours a week. That’s the math.
Where should you spend most of your time? For maximum enjoyment, biggest impact, and lifelong fulfillment, the magic happens in the urgent/not important quadrant of President Eisenhower’s popular Decision Matrix.
Take nurturing a child or business, for example. Both are critical but rarely demand your immediate attention. In other words, quality time is never urgent. Fostering future sales is easy to put off, especially when current income is steady.
Obviously Eisenhower’s matrix isn’t the end-all, be-all of decision making. But I believe the most successful people in life—both personally and professionally—are the ones that ignore non-critical/non-urgent distractions the most. They don’t check or even react to their “inbox” as much as others, opting instead to focus on forward-thinking but non-urgent tasks.
And they delegate or otherwise prioritize urgent but unimportant tasks better than most.
The rerun first published to blakesnow.com in 2016
Why are suckers born every minute? How can we explain “
My latest travel column 
I finished Richard Matheson’s engrossing 100 page 
I read my first Steinbeck novel recently, starting with his magnum opus, 
It’s not rocket science. To get the most of your day, we must do the following:
I was recently asked what I know for sure. I didn’t have time to answer everything in detail, but upon further reflection, this is what I would have told them.
